I have a lot to share with you since we came home (Saturday). It has been a busy 24 hours!
Yesterday morning we checked out early. We had breakfast at 8:30, rounds at 10, and we were walking out the glass double doors at 10:30! Adam clutching Ruffie and Blankie and wearing his new Spongebob backpack. I was staggering with luggage, but that is another story. It actually took some convincing for him to leave. What was strange was every morning for the last several days, Adam would wake up a little down in the dumps saying he wanted to go home. The day we actually get to go home, he wants to stay? This is really a testament to all our wonderful friends who came to visit, bring toys, and really make the hospital feel like vacation. No joke. Thank you!
I convince Adam that playing with his own toys will be more fun than playing in the “5th floor playroom.” He proudly sports his go-home gear and we are on our way! While Adam never said he was excited to be leaving, he totally was. We get in the car and he is chatting all the way home. Things like, “look at the birds,” “the sun is coming out,” “look at all the cars on the road,” “mommy you’re driving fast,” “mommy don’t crash – I don’t think I would like to crash,” etc. (Just to clarify, I wasn’t driving too fast, we were just on the freeway and he hasn’t been in a car for a week and a half)
We get home and he is in exploration mode. There are balloons from the hospital and he asks, “mommy, was there a birthday party here?” Of course not without you! “Mommy! There’s a bird in the bird feeder!” He is in the living room, in the family room, in the kitchen, in the bedrooms, exploring everything like it is a brand new house! All very cute. He settled in his room playing with his cars. I had to set up the racetrack, the pirate ship, get the Nerf pellets for his gun, and find his army men all in a matter of like 10 minutes! Life is good.
But what Adam really wants… really, really wants… is to ride his bike. Luckily, Grandpa is up for a bike ride. After a cat nap, we head down to Grandpa’s house for a (cement only) bike ride. Adam was a little tired afterwards, but it was nice to see him doing the things little boys should be doing. My little man is back!!
On the other hand, there is some serious reality setting in. We don’t have nurses 10 feet away whenever we have a question. We have the big bag of medicines that need to be given. And bacteria are like our new evil everywhere we go! Bacteria are something I was aware of before, of course. We are clean, but maybe not the weekly house cleaning, hourly hand washing, antibacterial lotion in the purse type that we are becoming. We don’t think twice when we share food, share towels, share chapstick. There are many things we normally take for granted in which we exchange (harmless) germs and now have to be very aware of. Not to mention, soil and dirt are places where bacteria thrive, and what is practically our entire landscaping? We took the yard-covering junipers out from our front yard in anticipation of grass, it just hasn’t happened yet. So, best thing I could think of? Agree to apply for Curb Appeal on HGTV. But really, Adam can’t play in the front yard. Breathing and injecting dirt are all bad right now. And probably for the first year. All we can do though is the best we know how. Take all the precautions and apply new safety measures as best we can. Adam is really his own worst enemy right now. He is more likely to touch something and then touch his mouth than for me to cough on him. At the same time, we don’t want to treat him like a cancer patient and live in a bubble. A crazy balance, I am hoping practice makes perfect. Or rather, we just get better at in time.
So, as Josh said (in love, of course), I had a “burr in my butt” last night. I really just wanted to be left alone. And instead of asking for such, I gave attitude and dirty looks and who knows what else. I was tired, cranky, and just not nice. I am lucky to have such a loving, patient, and forgiving husband who was still speaking to me in the morning. “Idle hands are the devil’s handiwork.” Or so LeAnne Rime’s mother says. The first night of home sweet home was a stomping ground. But all I can do is pick myself back up and try better tomorrow.